Will the Real Mrs Manoso please step forward
by Mumofpicklegirls
Summary: Ranger is getting married. Can Stephanie come to terms with this change of events? One shot. Rating for the odd swear word!


**Just a little one-shot that floated up into my head at 3.00 this morning. Be back with a longer story soon...**

**You know the drill, R&amp;R makes my day**

**Enjoy!**

It's a long story...

I'm Stephanie Michelle Plum and I'm a pretty Badass MF BEA but that's only because things change and boy have they. Even Ranger would be proud of me but as we haven't really seen that much of each other recently, I'd say that point is a bit moot.

I'm currently standing in my very beautiful and completely pointless pale blue silk and satin underwear, about to put on a pale, almost white, pale blue dress that brushes the floor and hugs all the right places. Mary Lou is fiddling with my way ward curls which are refusing to behave right now and trying to get me to calm down. Oh, and she is dressed in a similar dress albeit in a darker blue.

Weird scenario huh? No, not really. What makes the whole thing surreal is the small piece of card currently sitting on the coffee table. It's an invite.

An invite to Carlos Manoso's wedding.

Apparently it's top secret. In fact it's so top secret that no-one knows who's invited, let alone who the bride is.

My current thinking is that it's Jeanne Fucking Ellen Fucking Burrows, but that's a hunch.

Automatically I step forward and into the dress that moments ago was hanging on the outside of the wardrobe. My best friend does up the tiny seed pearls that pull together the almost backless dress then pats the fabric straight and reverts to fussing with my hair.

"Will you just calm down, Steph!" Mary Lou whinges as she pokes a reluctant ringlet into the updo she's been working on for the last few years. Oh, did I mention I'm not sure I'm completely sane right now?

"What's the point, ML?" I reply petulantly "It's not as if I have a date for this God awful wedding!"

"Oh Steph, I know you wish it was you getting married. That Ranger had chosen you, but really? It's not as if you've really encouraged him, you know?" She replied softly.

I nodded my head, too afraid to say anything in case the tears started again.

"Anyway, I'm sure Bobby or Lester, or Hal will keep you entertained. They are going, aren't they?"

I shrugged my shoulders and hiccupped as water filled my eyes again and I burst into tears, despite my resolve not too.

Perhaps as I have yet another pity party and my best friend in the whole wide world tries to calm me down, I should take the time to explain…

Eight months and a half months ago, Joe and I might have had a teeny weeny tiny little argument when my POS de jour blew up, courtesy of a Molotov cocktail aimed at Lula. It just happened to bounce past her in all her poison green spandex glory and it might just have rolled under my car before bursting into flames.

Joe rolled up minutes later, screamed at me about growing up, I think I threw a few fuck you's back at him and flicked him the bird because he gave me one final, piercing stare, shook his head stalked back to his car and sped off. I think there was a camel about somewhere and I know there was a straw and putting the two together was just too much.

The next morning when I left my apartment I nearly broke my leg falling over a small basket that he'd left by my door with all my things in it. Including the small bag of hamster food I'd left last time we'd tried to co-habit.

His final words were in a voicemail a day later telling me he was done.

Forever.

Eight months, one week and three days ago he won $3/4 million on the lottery.

Eight months and one week ago he left on holiday.

Seven months ago he'd returned and we've not spoken since.

Sigh.

Which brings me to Ranger and the reason for my melt down.

Ranger left to go into the wind about the same time as Joe's big win, reminding me that Rangeman had a gym and a shooting gallery (my words, not his, he'd roll his eyes at me – well if his legendary control would let him) and for some reason I decided to try both. I gave myself a month to see if I still hated exercise and guns at the end of this time period. But it was worth a try, wasn't it? I mean, the place was crawling with good looking men – barely dressed, covered in a fine layer of sweat and straining their beautiful bodies – that had to be a plus right?

Okay, so Ranger would be there occasionally (but I was soooo not getting up at bum fuck o'clock just to ogle his fine ass!) which would be a bonus, but Bobby and Les made it fun too.

And even the shooting gallery grew on me.

A month later, not only was I able to catch the wily 80 year old FTA's without losing my dignity but I actually felt better than I had in a very long time. Who knew I would enjoy it all too, huh?

Anyway, Ranger returned and things seemed to be business as usual - once he'd gotten over the shock about me, guns and exercise being buddies, that is.

He pulled me into the alley for the odd toe curling kiss and Joe settled into a new relationship with a young woman who'd recently bought the tasty pastry. Lula thought that was ironic – I just found it funny.

But then Ranger disappeared into the wind for a week and it was after that, that things began to change. He started spending more time in Miami and after one particular trip he came back far more centred and relaxed than anyone had ever seen him. He even began to crack a smile or two - which was seriously freaking out Trenton's finest, might I add. The criminal fraternity decided crime wasn't worth it anywhere him and scurried off to pastures new.

They weren't the only ones to notice the new Ranger. Even Tank and Les started gossiping, I might have overheard them a couple of times talking about his love life and how things were looking up. But I wasn't really sinking into despair, oh no, not me, Nah ah.

After all, Ranger still treated me as a friend and we still had meals alone on seven and to my ever hopeful heart I even started to think we might have had a good thing going.

But then things changed, the kisses stopped for one thing, and Ranger settled into the role of friend. A good friend if truth be told, but one who had a secret he was not prepared to share with anyone in Trenton, especially me.

Well, until she turned up…

Jeanne Fucking Ellen Fucking Burrows, who I will refer to as the bitch heartbreaker from hell. Ok, perhaps that's a bit of a mouthful. Perhaps "Bitch" rolls off the tongue better.

Yeah.

Bitch.

Bitter me?! Never!

Harummph….

Anyway, Ranger came back from one of his many trips to Miami about three weeks ago with Bitch at his side. She smiled at everyone and came across as all sweetness and light, but _I_ knew! _She_ was the reason Ranger had changed and bit by bit she's obviously stolen him away from me. What did she have that I didn't? So she had a killer figure and looked great in spandex when running 10k next to Ranger with her perky breasts and even perkier pony tail. And maybe, just maybe she gave him a run for the money when they sparred in the ring. But the clincher was when she gained almost immediate entry into the core team. But what did she have that I didn't?

Oh yeah.

Ranger's heart.

Since her arrival I knew they'd begun planning something. Them, Tank, Bobby and Lester kept going off into meetings so I knew something was about to go down.

Little did I know my world was about to shatter.

Deep breath, Babe. Ranger used to say when I was having a panic attack. He'd probably never say that to me again and Bitch probably didn't ever lose her cool, never mind her shit….

Sigh.

Oh yeah, where was I?!

Then two weeks ago IT arrived, in IT's beautiful, gold edged envelope.

An invitation.

To a wedding.

A top secret, need to know only, wedding.

"Stephanie Plum, you are cordially invited to a Rangeman wedding. To be held at The Beach House, Point Pleasant. 2.15. Saturday July the 17th. Dress code: Red, white and blue. RSVP to Ella Brockman, C/o Rangeman, 379-482 Haywood Street, Trenton, New Jersey."

Attached to the invite was a handwritten note from Ranger. Stephanie, please wear blue, it suits you so well. Ella has all the details and will help you shop. Please bring the guest of your choice, just not Morelli. I really want to share my special day with those I care about, please say you'll come.

Bastard had to include the word Please, didn't he?! I couldn't let him down even though I really wanted to be anywhere but at The Beach House, Point Pleasant, 2.15 on Saturday the 17th of July attending a _Rangeman_ _wedding_.

Who has a Rangeman wedding anyway? Why not just put "Ranger and Jeanne Fucking Ellen Fucking Burrows cordially invite you…."

Maybe Ranger was trying to make it easy for me, but he must have known how I would have run for the hills if he hadn't used that damned p word…

Ella was true to Ranger's word and when mentioned that I had invited Mary Lou as my plus one, she leapt at the chance to dress both of us. We went to New York - apparently Ella had a neice who worked in the costume department for a tv company and had access to the wardrobe department. Turns out she was an award winning designer who happened to head up a whole fleet of people who ran a costume department for a tv company.

So we arrived at 8.30am with no clue as to what we were going to wear and we left at 10.15 pm with everything we would need for all three of us to celebrate the Rangeman wedding. Even our shoes and underwear.

Which brings us back to now.

"Crap! My mascara!" I hiccupped out before rushing to the bathroom to assess the damage.

Mary Lou left me for a few minutes to calm down then swiftly and with years of expert experience, rectified the damage and hid my sadness behind a couple of new coats of mascara.

"Good as new." She whispered before pulling me into a hug.

"Come on, let's go." She said brusquely in her don't mess with me Mom voice. "Let's go do this thing." She added as she ground her teeth subtly. I knew that action, it was the one she'd used when her eldest had broken his arm and she'd had to take him to A&amp;E, the same one she'd given her youngest when he'd cracked a tooth and had to be dragged kicking and screaming to the dentist.

I nodded my head and turned to the full length mirror in the dressing area of the huge suite we were currently sharing in down town Point Pleasant, courtesy of Rangeman. Apparently, most of the guests were staying in a different hotel but there'd been no more room anywhere so we'd been lumbered with the honeymoon suite of this 5 star hotel a stone's throw from the venue. Sucks to be me, even though my heart was breaking, at least I was doing it in the lap of luxury.

I smoothed down my dress and lingered over the woman before me. What the hell was I doing here? I looked almost bridal for crap's sake! The dress I was wearing was almost water-like in colour as it was so pale and the fabric shimmered as I walked. All I needed was a bouquet and I'd be the nightmare guest that tried to out do the bride!

What on earth was I thinking?!

Mary Lou looked at me and gave me one of her patented glares. "Don't even think about it!" she growled as she stood beside me in her deep blue dress. Her dress echoed mine, but without the shimmery floaty look. It was still floor length, but the neck line was a little less plunging and somehow she managed to look like a member of the guest list rather than the wedding party.

"Mary Lou! Why did I let Ella talk me into this dress?" I whimpered.

"Because it will give Bitch a run for her money and make Ranger think twice about marrying her instead of you." She snapped back.

At that moment there was a knock at the door.

"It's time." Mary Lou stated blandly and grabbing my hand she led me out of our cocoon.

We arrived at The Beach House only to find all the other guests had already gone in.

"Fuck! We're late!" I cried out as I sank back into the sumptuous cushions of the limo we were in. "Great! Not only do I look like a wanna-be bride, but now we're going to make a diva-like entry! I can't do it!" I cried, just as my door was pulled open and a hand reached in to grab my own which was windmilling wildly.

"Thank fuck, Beautiful, you're just in time!" a grinning Lester said as he pulled me unceremoniously from the plush interior, Mary Lou at my heels.

"You ready, girls?" he said and added an eyebrow wiggle. "Wow, you both scrub up well, Steph, Mary Lou." He added.

"Mary Lou, do you wanna go find your seats, I'll calm Beautiful down." He added, looking pointedly at me. My best friend nodded and scuttled inside while Lester grabbed me by my shoulders. Clearly I was hyperventilating.

"Deep breaths, Steph." He said calmly as he held my focus. "That's it. Breathe in…. breathe out…."

After a few minutes I was obviously no longer looking completely panicked because he added "You ok?" I nodded "About as ok as I will ever be about this wedding." I added glumly.

"Why, Les?"

"?"

"What has she got that I haven't?"

"hmm?"

"I love him too, you know. So what's she got that made him step up to the plate?"

Lester gave me a funny look then took a deep breath before replying. "You know as well as I do that Ranger dances to a different tune to the rest of us and that once he's made his mind up nothing will change it. He's marrying the woman of his dreams, the one who truly makes him happy. Please don't spoil it for him, ok?"

I nodded.

"Promise?"

I nodded again, unable to say anything. I knew if I opened my mouth again I would cry.

"Don't cry Beautiful. Please? This is supposed to be a happy day. Be happy for him, ok?"

I nodded a third time. I could do this. I would be happy for him even though my heart was breaking. Taking a deep breath, I looked him in the eye and nodded.

It was time.

We walked in through the door and Les steered me towards a set of double doors to the left. We walked in and I started to shake.

"I've got you Beautiful." Les whispered as he took my arm and started to walk through the house and out towards the beach area at the back.

I could hear music and see people seated in rows that faced towards the sea. At the end I could see the back of Ranger – tall, brooding, beautiful and so ready. My heart stuttered. Between him and the sea I could just about see a priest, waiting patiently with a serene look on her face.

On her face?

On. Her. Face…

"Stay with me, Beautiful." Lester urged as somehow we started up the aisle.

"Lester. We're in the way. Where are our seats?!" I stage whispered. Then it dawned on me.

Mary Lou was standing near Ranger Julie, similarly dressed but in a shorter version. Both were holding bouquets of red, white and blue flowers.

Ranger was currently on one knee holding a box out towards me and the priest…

I didn't mean to faint. Really I didn't. But what is a girl to do?

I came to in Ranger's arms as he smiled his 1000 watt smile at me. "I knew you freaked out at the idea of marriage so I thought I'd try a different approach." He explained softly as his eyes begged for forgiveness. "Please Babe. Marry me. Make me the happiest man in the world." He added as he waggled a deep brown leather ring box at me.

I shifted in his arms then slapped him hard across the face but before he could react I pulled his face to mine and kissed him with everything I had.

Somewhere in the back ground I'm sure I heard my Mom saying "Is that a yes?"

"Yes!" I finally giggled outwhen we came up for air. "A thousand times, yes!"

0o0o0o0o0

"I can't believe you're a minister!" I giggled softly as I sat later that evening, watching my new husband dance with his Grandmother Rosa.

"Yup." Bitc… I'm mean Jeanne, replied with a broad grin.

"When I left the army I was completely done in. The last mission with Ranger was pretty nasty but during extraction we'd talked. Really talked, and when he mentioned you his whole face lit up. Like he had a reason to live. I wanted to give him something special, to have his back for him like he'd always had mine, even as kids growing up. So we hatched a plan. I'm sorry for deliberately misleading you in to thinking we were a couple. We hooked up once as kids but it felt so wrong, like we'd been kissing our Moms or something."

Jeanne looked at me, checking I was ok.

I sipped my champagne and smiled happily as I silently asked her to continue.

"I may have been a special ops agent for the last eight years, but I've always been at odds with the whole life and death, good versus evil thing and quite a lot of what I've had to do has made me question who I am. If it wasn't for my training I don't think I could have done half of what I did. Sometimes I barely sleep at night as it is. About a year ago I reached the conclusion that I needed out and that I needed to rebuild my faith in humanity so I resigned when my commission came up about three months ago and it was about then that Carlos came to me in Miami and explained what he planned to do.

"He found me talking to my local priest, Father Marco about how I could learn to live with what I'd done and suggested I go back to college and use what I'd been through to help others. I'm currently studying to become a councillor and when I came up to Trenton your _husband_ talked me into becoming an ordained minister and the rest, as they say, is history."

"Certainly is" a certain beautiful bright new shiny husband said as he sneaked up behind me and wrapped his arms round my waist even as he caressed my ear with his breath.

"Time to dance, Babe?" he asked as he gently pulled me to my feet and teased the champagne flute out of my hand which he handed to Jeanne who took it with a knowing look.

We spun out onto the dance floor, oblivious to those who danced around us.

It's true, my husband dances to a different tune to the rest of the world and once he's made his mind up nothing will change it. But he chose and married me, the woman of his dreams, the one who truly makes him happy. And I plan to spend the rest of my life showing him how happy he makes me too.

**Waddya think? Please let me know. My muse is waiting nervously in the wings and starting to flex her literary fingers - please give her the boost she needs to fly**


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